Discretion is a quality that is often misunderstood and overlooked, especially in our modern world where oversharing has become the norm. What is discretion you ask? Well, the dictionary defines it as “the quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense or revealing private information.”
In essence, being discreet is the ability to make wise decisions about what to share and what to withhold. It’s about exercising judgment and sensitivity in handling information, especially in a way that avoids causing harm or revealing too much. Discretion is about choosing the right time, place, and audience for sharing, while protecting the integrity of situations and relationships.
Beauty and discretion
“A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.”
— Proverbs 11:22 (NLT)
This scripture offers a striking image and highlights a powerful truth about the nature of true beauty. Just picture a gold ring for a second—something precious and beautiful. Now imagine it placed in the snout of a pig, an animal that, in Jewish culture, was associated with filth and uncleanness. The ring, which should signify worth and elegance, is rendered ridiculous and ultimately loses its value and beauty due to its association with what is considered filthy.
Similarly, when a woman is physically attractive but lacks the ability to act with discretion —whether in her words, actions, or decisions—her beauty is worthless, much like the ring in the pig’s snout. The Bible often encourages us, godly women, to dress modestly and avoid revealing parts of our bodies that must be hidden.
Well, discretion is like modesty for our inner being. It’s about dressing our inner man with wisdom in knowing when to speak, what to share, and how to behave in a way that honors God, yourself, and others. When you exercise discretion, you preserve your dignity and the respect of those around you, much like how a gold ring’s value is maintained when it’s placed in an appropriate setting.
Stop oversharing
This topic hits close to home for me because I was once guilty of oversharing, often in the name of ministering to others, both in person and online. I was under the assumption that by laying everything bare, I was being transparent and relatable. I would share certain details of my life, thinking it would help others, but almost every time, I’d walk away with a sense of regret. As I began to grow in my walk with the Lord and in wisdom, He started taking me on a journey of understanding the importance of keeping certain things private. I am still being molded in this area, but I can truly say that I have come a long way.
Oversharing often stems from a desire to be transparent or relatable, but it can sometimes lead to unintended consequences. When we learn to guard our affairs with discretion, however, it protects us and the people we love from potential harm.
Discretion is a defense
“Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.”
— Proverbs 2:11 (NKJV)
The above scripture highlights how vital discretion is in preserving our lives. In our age of social media, where sharing every detail of our lives is encouraged, it’s easy to blur the lines between what should be private and what can be public. However, oversharing can leave us vulnerable, exposing intimate parts of our lives, and of others, that may not need to be open for all to see.
When we live with discretion, we navigate our relationships and conversations with care, ensuring that our words and actions are thoughtful and intentional. Discretion can help us to steer clear of the destructive tendencies of gossip, where our private matters, and that of others are inappropriately aired. It shields us from engaging in slander, which can damage reputations and sow discord.
By being mindful of what we say and to whom we say it, we avoid the trap of careless words that can easily cause misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Discretion basically acts as a guard over our tongues that encourages us to think before we speak, to weigh the impact of our words, and to consider whether sharing certain information is necessary or beneficial. This conscious effort to speak with wisdom helps us to maintain peace in our relationships and protects us from unnecessary conflicts.
Discretion vs secrecy
It’s important to note that I am not talking about being secretive. While discretion is about wise and thoughtful sharing, secrecy often implies keeping things hidden, sometimes for questionable reasons. Discretion is guided by wisdom and honor for God, yourself, and others, whereas secrecy can be motivated by fear, shame, or manipulation.
There are times when secrecy is needed, but I am not encouraging living a life where your glory is hidden. The word of God says to arise and shine for your light has come (Isaiah 60:1). This is a command to share your light with the world, not to hide it. If you share your light with the world without wisdom, however, it will come with painful consequences. Discretion is what will allow you to share your bright light with wisdom and balance.
Gleaning from the wisdom of Mary
Mary, the mother of Jesus, displayed discretion when the angel Gabriel revealed to her that she would conceive and bear the Son of God. This was no ordinary event—Mary was carrying the Savior of the world. Yet, instead of seeking validation or attention, she chose to embrace the mystery and gravity of her situation with quiet grace. Instead of running to tell everyone about this miraculous news, the Bible says that she “treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart” (Luke 2:19). Mary understood that there was wisdom in keeping certain things between herself and God, trusting Him to bring them to fulfillment in His perfect timing.
May we all receive the grace and wisdom to avoid living in secrecy or hiding our God-given glory. Instead, may we share our light with discernment, trusting in God’s perfect timing and allowing His plans to unfold according to His will.
Peace & Love Always <3